I want that quick hit of dopamine as I see the shares on my social media post tot up, I crave the high I feel following a pot of coffee and I long for the buzz l get when purchasing a shiny gadget.
Except I know that by the time my video online reaches millions of people, the caffeine kick has worn off and I get bored of my new camera, I realise that I had been hooked on “quick fixes.” I used to go to yoga classes and expect to be a contortionist the day after, I would shop for shoes to make me feel good in the moment and I even convinced myself that my many rose gold gadgets are just tools of the trade for my work from home as an author, vlogger and social media coach. I even used to tell myself that these instant highs are just “therapy.”
Yes, I still get pleasure from all these things and am far from a simple living guru no matter how many times I’ve watched the Kon Mari documentary on the art of decluttering. But I am now focused on true joy which comes from sustainable goals not just instant highs.
I like most have found myself frustrated at the moment with endless queues, restrictions and changes of plans but I have been practicing the art of patience in queuing up and in my life generally.
When my options are reduced and I have limited choices, I am required to be as patient as possible because again how we deal with that is critical to our overall sense of happiness. I can be reactive and impulsive or I can take a deep breath, pause and take some control back by challenging myself to play the long game. I choose the latter nowadays because I know how incredible achieving sustainable long-term goals feels such as becoming the fittest, I have ever been to publishing my first book – health and career aims that were both reached via consistently writing, daily workouts and a rough plan. My biggest success is that I have now healed enough from a difficult past to feel good in mind, body and soul.
This comes from the fact that I practice daily self-care, I now attend my mental health appointments regularly, I have a solid morning routine which comprises writing, listening to motivational podcasts and dancing, I always ‘show up’ for myself and for others.
Even when life throws huge hurdles, I have the foresight that this wave will pass and I have to practice patience by taking thought-out positive action whether that be to get outdoors to reflect, talk to a professional or simply just to do something active to de-stress, so I am my best self.So rather than opt for that crash diet or get angry that we don’t change overnight or we cannot control a situation, just rest in the knowledge that rituals equal results. And through patience these results can last a lifetime.
By Sophie Mei Lan (me) – she writes about Mind, Body and Self Love in her newspaper column in Yorkshire Evening Post and @mamameiblog on social media. She aims to get all families active through her magazine YorkshireFamilies.co.uk and blogupnorth.co.uk