I’m a born and bred Yorkshire lass so I like to save money… or so I have convinced myself over the years. Without realising it, I have been regurgitating stereotypes about Yorkshire folk being tight and at times even saying it about myself and living frugally regardless of my income. Whilst this may appear ‘noble’ in this materialistic world, and in some ways, it can be, but such a scarcity mindset which my background has gifted me, has also held me back.
Whilst I am fiercely proud of where I was brought up in an ‘impoverished’ suburb of South Yorkshire, I was always at risk of “getting too big for my boots.” Whilst my parents always inspired me to achieve whatever I dreamt of and worked hard for… at the same time when I finally made the leap into ‘the other world’ I found myself conflicted. I loved my roots, the community I was born in and yet I wanted to work in TV and the media industry… where your ‘personality creates your reality’
I found myself straddling what I thought to be two worlds… on TV I was the perfect ‘rags to riches’ story, I was the ‘poor shy girl who’d done good and gained a voice, a platform.’
I was so grateful of the opportunities that my diverse background had enabled me to access, I was so grateful to be able to use my skills in the ‘wider world’ and I continued to graft hard… ‘where there’s muck there’s brass’ as the saying goes.
But there was just more ‘muck’ (aka work) and still not a lot of brass, without realising I was clinging on to a scarcity mindset yet with an abundance of gratitude just to be ‘allowed’ into this other world.
I tried to fit in and downplay what I was doing back home and then in the media I would be a brand ambassador for where I was from, I just prayed my two worlds wouldn’t collide. It wasn’t the fairytale ‘rags to riches’ story that I stood for, I never fitted in in either place, which is all I craved to do, which held me back for many years. Money made me uncomfortable, I felt obliged to save aka flatline… no matter what I could afford, I would one day be the millionaire who buys broken biscuits! Not because they were good quality and value for money but because they were cheap. And whilst I always value money and shop at the places that offer best value for money, I was too scared to manage money.
“Over spending above your means and splurging is not helpful, nor is saving too much. When a heart rate flatlines, it’s dead. The same can be said about money,” explained my money and mindset coach Emily Winn-Khan.
“You’re still in survivor mode because it’s comfortable to you, whereas your gratitude should be used with an abundance mindset, as there is enough money to go around, we are just fed to believe that it’s for ‘them’ not us.”
Interestingly, she said that this keeps us trapped in an economically deprived mindset, so whilst we cannot always control others’ view of us, we can take real control, by adjusting our mindset around money.
This gave me food for thought, as we unpicked my attitude to money and the deep feeling of ‘not being worthy’ enough to earn money or be fearful of it when I did.
But again, it was important to take action with the universe as I decided that true empowerment stems from us paying those we champion especially when we are utilising them to showcase diversity!
I am fiercely proud of my Yorkshire roots, the humble community I am from which is rich in so many other ways but I now realise that ‘true empowerment’ and finding my voice should be more than just a passion project, I should be paid for what I do. Even more so if I am truly going to empower others a few steps behind me.
Imagine if more of us with values and ethics had money? How far it would go in a world driven by peace, love and collaboration? I had always wondered why zen Chinese proverbs I use, use the word ‘prosperity’
By working on my growth mindset, gratitude of an abundance mindset rather than acting out of scarcity, and most of all taking responsibility for my own thoughts/feelings/actions and appreciating that we are one world, I have been able to start to rebuild my career this time valuing my worth.